Dana Scully wrote:

> To find your Star Wars name, you take the first 3 letters of your given
> name, and add the model of the car you drive.  The planet comes fron the
> last drug you took.

+++

On The Line
by SpiS-10 from the planet Alphagan! <hee HEE>

"Come on, guys -- just lighten up for a second, okay?  Look, my given
name is John and I drive a Volvo 760-GLE..."

"Sporty!"

"More like Rusty, actually...sorry.  Go on, J."

"So that's Joh760-GLE.  And the last drug I took was Aspirin, so that's
my planet.  See?  It's sort of 'droid-like."

"Uh-huhn.  Good match."

"Ooh careful you don't cut yourself on all that sharp wit, spy-boy."

"If there's any cutting to be done..."

"Guys, please.  Now, Ringo, you'd be...let's see, you'd be: RinVan from
the planet Sinutab!  And Mel, you'd be..."

"MelBored from the planet ManI'mBored..."

"No...come on.  You'd be:  MelBus from the planet... Mondavi Red!  That
sounds great.  Like a - a pirate planet. And Alex..."

"Mondavi Red isn't..."

"Well, technically..."

"Technically, this is a geek game, John.  Bad enough we are standing in
the geek line to see the geek movie of the millenium..."

"Oh here we go with the name-calling again...  You know, no one is
paying you to stand here, Darth Bringdown.  And it would be RinBus,
actually, John.  And, what, only legal drugs count, Narcan-man?"

"Guys, guys... *please*.  Come on.  I know it's all overhype and I know
it's a little silly but, you know.  We're here.  It's a once in a
lifetime kind of thing.  And the whole last year has just been so... so
awful.  Can't we just this once... enjoy ourselves?  Please?"

"Well..."

"When you put it that way..."

"So, uh -- what *would* my Star Wars name be, John?"

"Okay.  Let's see.  A-L-E from Alex, and you drive a..."

"This week? A Lexus."

"AleLexus.  You know, there's only one planet you could possibly come
from."

"Whoo hoo.  I bet I know what it is."

"Oh, gosh.  Me too."

"Yeah, well, I hate to disappoint you all, but the last drug I took was
Tylenol, so that's my damn planet:  Alelexus, from the planet Tylenol.
Happy, John?"

"Happy, Alex. It's just..."

"What?"

"It would just be funnier if you'd cop to the Ex-Lax..."

-pa-dum-pum-