"Ode to a Mulderslut"
by Spike

oh the wild Mulderslut is a fabulous beast
from its lust-hazed eyes to its lickable feet
it'll hump any creature it happens to meet
and then offer its love-rod to friends for a treat!

oh the roused Mulderslut has a grand appetite
you can pet it and stroke it and fuck it all night
and you might just be tempted to tie it up tight
but a loose Mulderslut is a wanton delight

oh the spry Mulderslut is the ultimate pet:
he'll be Arthur for Alex; with Scully, he's het
with Walter he's sort of a flaming...brochette?.............<sorry>
see the M!slut you ask for's the M!slut you get!

oh the sly Mulderslut will get all he can take
he will angle for frottage; he is SO on the make.
he will beg, flaunt and wriggle and all for fuck's sake.
and yet strangely, with Scully, he can't get a break.

and so ends my paen to the dear Mulderslut
and his Mulderlipped pout and the lush Mulderbutt
and to Mulderorgasms to the point of near-glut
and the way he saved Te from her 'angst and tears' rut.

Long live the Mulderslut!!!!